Fame or Famine

Charlie, as you may have heard, is cute. Tremendously cute. The kind of cute where people stop and stare kind of cute. They all want his blond, blue-eyed, cabbage patch kid goodness to beam at them in delight and chortle his little baby chortle. The boy is seriously adorable.

For a short time we considered getting him into baby modeling. It took the barest minimum of research before I decided against it. The process involves quite a bit of “hurry up and wait” and many boring hours for your little one. The business also requires a parent who can whisk said child to a photo shoot at a moment’s notice and there isn’t one person in our house that has time to sit around waiting to whisk.

Add to that the fact that most people will let their kids pose for nothing, and it’s not much of a career. Even the GAP ad kids get the clothes they wear as payment.

We quickly decided it wasn’t worth it.

However, what do you do if your little guy or gal looks at you with big three-year-old eyes and announces they want to be on television? My suggestion would be to go to Acting Like a Kid and get some real life advice on how to be a successful stage parent.

The job can be rewarding, but is full of pitfalls and slow hours. Get the facts before you lead your family down that road.

RULE #1. STAY AWAY FROM…that lady lurking in the back of Toys R Us who just discovered your child.
(I know, I know. She walked right over and told you what a “great look” your child has (which, of course, just happens to be true) and he/she has that special something that the casting directors are looking for. And, as luck would have it, there’s a session in Beverly Hills this Saturday. Don’t bother going! But don’t take my advice… go and see for yourself.

You’ll join the hundred or so long line of kid – gosh, they’re not all as handsome or gorgeous as your little precious. Isn’t that strange? Do you think those parents were told their kids had that special something too? The truth is kids don’t have to be handsome or gorgeous to get work in Hollywood. Check out the kids in commercials. Just like the kids in your child’s school, they come in all shapes, sizes and degrees of cuteness. It’s also true, however, that all these kids haven’t been herded here to be discovered or cast in a feature or hooked up with an agent.

THIS IS WHAT WILL HAPPEN

First you’ll fill out some paperwork including your name and phone number. Your child will have their picture taken and the “casting director” will ask them what’s their favorite sport or movie. Then they move along. Thank you, you’re told. We’ll call you.

Next you’ll get a call. Oh, there are so many kids, you think to yourself. What are the chances they’ll call my child? Actually, pretty good! It may be next week or a few weeks but you’ll get the call. I guarantee it. Hello, they’ll coo and announce they’re with with some management company.

Then they’ll tell you that out of all those kids, they’re only going with about 30. Wow! You made the cut. Guess what? They all made the cut. Yep, all the kids. It’s not that your child isn’t special, they’re just not special to these con artists.

Next you’ll go to an orientation. Congratulations! You’re ready to be part of the mill. At the orientation you’ll learn everything you need to make your child a star in Hollywood. And everything comes in a really cool plastic notebook with tabs and pockets and everything.

How about pictures? They can very conveniently have their photographer take pictures — he knows exactly what the casting directors are looking for.

What about classes? Yes, they have classes too.

And, lucky you, all you have to do is pay anywhere between $1000 and $3000 for the program and you’re on your way. It’s your one stop shopping to be a star store! All money that would be far better spent doing it the right way. What is the right way? Look for more rules in upcoming posts.

In the meantime, remember, when the lady in Toys R Us stops you and says your child ought to be in pictures, smile, say thank you and run out of the store.

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