Tom N- Katie 2gether 4ever
Or: Let us all bow our heads and vomit
What is it about celebrity relationships that spur the darkest recesses of human imagination and obsession? One could certainly make the argument that only the lowest, most base human beings follow the romantic lives of the rich and famous, but one, based on all available evidence, would be lying. It’s like saying that only tired, overweight housewives read romantic novels. It’s just not true. The greater portion of the population enjoys a little gratuitous smut.
So we’ve tittered over the antics of Bennifer and oohed and hmmmmmed at every new celebrity love announcement. Depending on who we wished to be with, or to be, we have taken sides in the Brad/Jen relationship debacle and either adored Big Lips, (I’m sorry), Angelina Jolie or hated her.
I’m as guilty as anyone.
However, this recent marriage proposal from a 42-year-old Tom Cruise to a 26 year old Katie Holmes reminds me of another marriage that made absolutely no sense, and frankly, creeps me right out. The lady doth protest too much, or as it stands the man doth scream and carry on too much. All his recent antics have made me wonder whether the rumors that he’s gay and desperate to hide it are true. After all, how the hell do you explain this?
So, in spite of every human instinct that wails that the new development is either a sham or something that involves drugs and/or brainwashing, Cruise and Holmes are engaged.
Interestingly, it was reported that Clarke Gable was so devoted to being Clarke Gable that he was unable to pleasure his romantic partners because he was unable to focus on anyone other than himself. I hope Katie brings her personal bedroom equipment with her, because what goes up must come down.
If you feel strongly that this ‘relationship’ is headed for certain disaster, the option exists to join the movement to save Katie from herself (or her satanic publicist). Alternatively, if you feel certain this is a match made n-heven just go back to doodling little hearts all over your Teen People.
T&K
TRU LUV
7 Comments
My favorite was when they said they hadn’t set a date yet because they "didn’t want to rush into anything"
Well, sure. Because otherwise they might look purile and stupid.
Puke-o-rama.
No, I was listening, I swear, and you’re totally right.
It’s just that I can’t read or hear about celebrity romances anymore without giggling at the name "Brangelina," whether anybody mentions them or not. No matter what we’re really talking about, I can always sit quietly inside my head and design the packaging for Hollywood’s sexiest fiber-rich breakfast cereal, and that makes me snuggly inside.
"Hollywood’s sexiest fiber-rich breakfast cereal"
Okay, now I’m laughing so hard I can’t see.
Funny….I was just talking about T&K with someone over lunch. We both gagged when we heard that "K" had dreamed about marrying him when she was a little girl…[stick finger down throat!]
best yet is his carte blanche condemnation based on his new found expertise, presumably from the ‘college of scientology’ of all brands of antidepressants for post partum depression, ritalin and the like. Holy mother ! Where do these people get their sense of self righteousness?
"Where do these people get their sense of self righteousness?"
Money. Lots and lots of money.
They figure that if someone is paying them that much money, they must be worth intrinsically more, and that includes each random thought. They believe that they think something and $$ ch-ching! It must be inherant gold.
Of course, they are mistaken, and don’t understand that most of the world views their opinions on non-acting related items akin to a cowpat pontificating on string theory.